Marriage

page type::article thing type::custom

About
Marriage is a cultural custom in most societies wherein two or more individuals -- usually adults -- are socially and legally recognized as forming common cause with each other. This is most often with the intention of having children, but that has never been the exclusive reason for the custom's existence.

Traditionally, marriage has had slightly different functions depending on the social class of the participants; for the lower classes, it was mainly a way to formalize the responsibility for the care of offspring. Among upper classes (at least in the West), it was also a way to seal bonds between aristocratic houses – sort of a familial corporate merger.

In modern, middle-class usage, it has become somewhat ambiguous in intent, though it is usually regarded as a requirement for having offspring. In the United States, it is necessary in order to get a lower "family rate" on health insurance or to share a lower, employer-sponsored insurance rate with a spouse not employed at the same company. It is also necessary in order to establish kinship in certain situations such as hospital visitation and "next-of-kin" for inheritance purposes.

Problems
The following problems exist with marriage as it exists in modern western society:
 * It is a binding contract...
 * ...whose terms are not printed on the page you sign (and indeed are not easy to find)
 * ...whose terms can change depending on where you are (in the 🇺🇸, marriage laws vary by state; elsewhere they vary by country)
 * ...whose terms can change over time, with no notification to the signers
 * In most jurisdictions:
 * the terms are asymmetrical and discriminatory by gender, even in areas unrelated to childbearing
 * the idea of family is limited to one man and one woman plus any offspring
 * many conservative groups see this rule as essential, however, and are fighting to prevent reform
 * In nearly all jurisdictions, no more than 2 adults may be joined to create a family, severely restricting the size and possible configurations of the family unit
 * The exit terms are typically vague, or at least do not spell out the full reality of the actions necessary to dissolve the marriage (lawyers are typically required in order to successfully navigate through the necessary paperwork)

In other cultures, marriage is sometimes less restrictive; further study is warranted to determine how well various forms of marriage work, and in what specific ways they fail and succeed.

Incentives
Governments and cultures generally have laws and rules to encourage people to get married.

In the 🇺🇸, one big incentive to get married is the reduction in health insurance costs. One's spouse is also considered to be "next of kin" and thus receives certain automatic rights, such as hospital visitation and effective power of attorney if the other spouse is unable to speak for her/himself.

Related Pages

 * Gay marriage: an issue mainly in the 🇺🇸
 * Divorce is the legal termination of a marriage; increases in divorce rates are generally seen as harmful.
 * Some people are boycotting marriage until the laws are less restrictive.
 * The purpose of marriage in 20th/21st century America seems to be largely to form the stable core of a family.
 * "MARRIAGE = [male restroom icon] + [female restroom icon]"

Quotes
"And yet the transition state is terrible. People feel that haphazard sin is inadmissible. It is necessary in some way or other to regulate the sexual relations; but there exists no other foundation than the old one, in which nobody longer believes? People marry in the old fashion, without believing in what they do, and the result is falsehood, violence. When it is falsehood alone, it is easily endured. The husband and wife simply deceive the world by professing to live monogamically. If they really are polygamous and polyandrous, it is bad, but acceptable. But when, as often happens, the husband and the wife have taken upon themselves the obligation to live together all their lives (they themselves do not know why), and from the second month have already a desire to separate, but continue to live together just the same, then comes that infernal existence in which they resort to drink, in which they fire revolvers, in which they assassinate each other, in which they poison each other."

...

"All marry in this way. And I did like the rest. If the young people who dream of the honeymoon only knew what a disillusion it is, and always a disillusion! I really do not know why all think it necessary to conceal it.

"One day I was walking among the shows in Paris, when, attracted by a sign, I entered an establishment to see a bearded woman and a water-dog. The woman was a man in disguise, and the dog was an ordinary dog, covered with a sealskin, and swimming in a bath. It was not in the least interesting, but the Barnum accompanied me to the exit very courteously, and, in addressing the people who were coming in, made an appeal to my testimony. 'Ask the gentleman if it is not worth seeing! Come in, come in! It only costs a franc!' And in my confusion I did not dare to answer that there was nothing curious to be seen, and it was upon my false shame that the Barnum must have counted.

"It must be the same with the persons who have passed through the abominations of the honeymoon. They do not dare to undeceive their neighbor. And I did the same.

Reference

 * takes the conservative Christian view: "Marriage is a union formed between one man and one woman, ordained by God."
 * : no equivalent page (as of 2008-03-02); see Search
 * : no equivalent page (as of 2008-03-02); see Search
 * : no equivalent page (as of 2008-03-02); see Search